3:28 p.m.
/
01 May, 2004

My birthday went great, so, of course something comes along to fuck me over, because god forbid I be happy or something crazy like that.

The fucking student loans company have, for some reason, not paid me my latest installment. My money-grabbing landlord cashed my rent cheque, and, of course, it bounced. The bank charged me an extra 30 pounds for the privilege as well. So now I'm so far into my overdraft that when the fuckers do finally pay me, I'll only just break even and have to move home anyway just to survive. I would very much like to impale every politician with a stainless steel kebab skewer if they ever make any glib comment about increasing the number of people who attend university, because this is crippling me, it really is. I'm going to be lucky to get out without slitting my wrists over the anxiety. Actually, I think I'm going to be sick right now...

I'm working class, I lived in a deprived area, I'm smarter than anyone else I know, I'm the poster child for all these new initiatives to educate those from the underclass with the potential to achieve, but I'm not sure I can do this. Knowing everything is all well and good, but when you have to live with your parents until your ninety just to pay off the pathetic loans and your birthday money goes on your overdraft, it's just not worth it. I'm an atheist for fuck's sake, this life is all I've got!