don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you got 'til it's gone?

9:33 p.m.
/
17 January, 2004

Yesterday was my grandad's funeral. My stepmother annoyed me. It was actually pretty nice... in a way. I didn't think I would cry, I thought I'd be all detached and bored, but I cried. It started when I was waiting for the hearse to show up... I was in the procession with the rest of the family. It was when I saw the coffin, it was too small and I imagined him inside. That's when I started to cry. But then we went into the church and I stopped. We listened to the party political broadcast of the God Party and I just sat there looking at the coffin. I wanted to open it and check if he was inside. I wanted to make sure he was really dead.

It was a Baptist church, which confuses the hell out of me, no pun intended, because my grandad was brought up Roman Catholic and was a non-denominational reverend. I think it was my nan's idea, she's actually pretty religious, I've discovered. The hospital chaplain who visited my grandad during the few days commented on my dad's pentacle at the wake... Trust me to be the offspring of the black sheep of the family.

My dad and brother had this really touching reconciliation at the graveside. It was actually a very optimistic, upbeat day, in that so much good seemed to come from it. My grandad had been pretty specific about what he wanted and everyone did their best to do as he asked. We sang a hymn that he requested, 'The old rugged cross'. It turns out that my nanna, my mum's mother had shown it to him way back when my mum and dad were first going out with each other.

I got my first essay back for this year. I got an A+, but such a high one that I could afford to drop quite a few marks and still be on course for an first for this year. It actually shocked me silly, because I had been worried that the standard for the second year would be so much higher and that I would finally get my comeuppance. I can only sail through my education for so long.

In other news, Laura is talking to me again, but only just. If she thinks I'm going to dance with her next time...

Everything seems to be going pretty well at the minute and after monday, I will be able to relax. That's when my mum has to go into hospital for further tests. Everyone keep your fingers crossed for me


	Paranoia, paranoia, everyone's coming to get me
	9:33 p.m. / 17 January, 2004 Yesterday was my grandad's funeral. My stepmother annoyed me. It was actually pretty nice... in a way. I didn't think I would cry, I thought I'd be all detached and bored, but I cried. It started when I was waiting for the hearse to show up... I was in the procession with the rest of the family. It was when I saw the coffin, it was too small and I imagined him inside. That's when I started to cry. But then we went into the church and I stopped. We listened to the party political broadcast of the God Party and I just sat there looking at the coffin. I wanted to open it and check if he was inside. I wanted to make sure he was really dead. It was a Baptist church, which confuses the hell out of me, no pun intended, because my grandad was brought up Roman Catholic and was a non-denominational reverend. I think it was my nan's idea, she's actually pretty religious, I've discovered. The hospital chaplain who visited my grandad during the few days commented on my dad's pentacle at the wake... Trust me to be the offspring of the black sheep of the family. My dad and brother had this really touching reconciliation at the graveside. It was actually a very optimistic, upbeat day, in that so much good seemed to come from it. My grandad had been pretty specific about what he wanted and everyone did their best to do as he asked. We sang a hymn that he requested, 'The old rugged cross'. It turns out that my nanna, my mum's mother had shown it to him way back when my mum and dad were first going out with each other. I got my first essay back for this year. I got an A+, but such a high one that I could afford to drop quite a few marks and still be on course for an first for this year. It actually shocked me silly, because I had been worried that the standard for the second year would be so much higher and that I would finally get my comeuppance. I can only sail through my education for so long. In other news, Laura is talking to me again, but only just. If she thinks I'm going to dance with her next time... Everything seems to be going pretty well at the minute and after monday, I will be able to relax. That's when my mum has to go into hospital for further tests. Everyone keep your fingers crossed for me prev > next > fresh > rotted > profile > fans > rings > notes > email > design > host >