12:44 a.m.
/
29 December, 2003

Lots of fucked up stuff has happened recently. I'm not sure I want to get into it right now.

I was mucking about on google and I typed in my surname. My grandad's name came up with about a thousand mentions of his jazz band. The first one was done by his partner, who actually funded their recording sessions. There were photos and everything. And it hit me that I'd only ever be able to see him in photos now. The funeral's in a couple of days and it's going to be awful, I just know it. I wish I'd said more... I wish he'd cared that I existed.