2:26 p.m.
/
22 December, 2003

My grandad died last night, the one I went to visit not long ago on his birthday. It's weird, but at the beginning of this year, I had two grandfathers, now I have none. He had CJD. You never think that anyone you know will ever have that. It was lucky he went when he did really. I didn't realise he was so bad.

My nan is coping pretty well, arranging things and staying busy. She's been his slave since she was 15 years old though, so I know that's going to be completely at a loss when the funeral is over.

Apparently, Peter, my grandad's other life partner (It's a tad complicated) is completely devastated. They've been together for almost 40 years too, and he has no other family around since his mum and dad died. Of course, he has us though.

It's not really sunk in to be honest. I always envisaged the moment when I truly achieved success, it would be the moment he wanted to talk to me first, instead of Dan, my brother. Nothing I ever did was all that interesting to him, and I just knew that I would someday find something I could do or say that would impress him. Guess that'll never happen now.