4:58 p.m.
/
28 November, 2003

I am back for the weekend, you may cheer.

I got Distillers tickets for Gary and me. Woo hoo, now he will must worship me as a god, a god I tell you! I'm pretty excited, because I'm going to see Eddie in... 22 days. 3 weeks tomorrow. Woo hoo!I've decided against waiting by the stage door to meet him, primarily because if I found out that he was a complete dick in real life, it would probably crush me irreparably. There are too few people in the world I admire already.

My house is lovely, the people within are lovely. Everything is, well, lovely on that front. Except I'm ill. Yuck. And I have work in the morning.

Survey stolen from the lovely, but evil, Disco Dagmar:

::General::

What is your name? Jade

Spell it backwards: TI

Does it mean anything? Precious gem... and it's an archaic slang word meaning slut. Yay!

Were you named after someone? Yes, my mother's desperate need for creativity.

If you had to pick a different name, what would it be? Ariadne

Got a nickname? Chad (my family call me this... not sure why) JD, Empress of Jadeonia, AriadneEthereal

Age and date of birth: 20, 30/04/83

Gender: Female, mostly

Location: Isle of Sheppey, Kent. The compost heap in the garden of England & Canterbury, Kent.

School you attend? Canterbury ChristChurch

If in college, got a major? If not, what did you major in, what would you major in? Social Science & Psychology

How big is your family? 8 people in my immediate family

Where were you born? Chatham, Kent

What do your parents do? My dad does something with machines... Mum is a childminder. Stepdad is retired and Stepmum is a checkout chick

Right or left handed: Left-handed, like all the best people

::Favorites::

Food: Mostly condiments rather than real stuff

Teacher: Mrs Cosgrove and Lyn Saunders

Color: Orange

Number: 7

Season: Autumn

Sport: Rugby... to watch anyway

Book: Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy & Brave New World

Song lyric (one line only): Inside her tower she feels free from harm- "Hide From Time" by Queen Adreena

Song: Doll Parts by Hole & Hurt by Johnny Cash

Artist: Queen Adreena

Non-lyrical music piece: La Boheme by Puccini

Restaurant: My house... no-one cooks better than me mam

Shoe: my doc martins that my dad gave me

Pop tart: Yuck

Soda: Like fizzy drink? diet coke.

Video: The Crow/Eddie Izzard 'Glorious'.

Animal: puddy tats.

Restaurant: The restaurant at the end of the world

Word: lugubrious

Name: Faye, Lilly, Jude, John

Drink: hot chocolate

Vegetable: broccoli and parsnips

::Friends::

Do you have any? maybe...

A lot? just enough

Best friend? Don't have one, but I suppose Gary is my best friend of all my friends.

Funniest friend? my brother, who is sometimes my friend

Wisest friend? Julia

Smartest? ... who knows

Best looking? Nat, but I'm trying not to notice

Sexiest? Erm, Nat

Shortest? Julia

Tallest? I don't know actually...

Craziest (as in the certifiable, not as in wild)? Woody

Wildest? Jamie

Oldest (as in length of time you’ve been friends)? Gary

Newest? Girl I can't remember name of

Most socially unacceptable? They are all rather pleasant

Loudest? Pru- shriek queen

Quietest? Becky

Most likely to succeed? All of them

Who gives you the most hugs? Julia and Charlie

Do you have any friends you’d date? Hell no.

Have you ever tried to date a friend and been DENIED? Not, date, but....

Best couple of your friends? I don't befriend couples anymore, always a mistake.

Worst? all of them I've ever known.

If you could put any two of your friends together, who would they be? Pru and Nat, Lou and Gem... because it would be fun to live in a lesbian commune

Most infuriating friend (but in a good way)? Julia, never gets how amazing she is, dammit!

::Relationships::

Have you ever dated? Well, sort of, in the English sense.

What’s your preference… of the sexual persuasion? I be a lesbian who sometimes crushes on guys, but not in a sexual way.

Have you thought you were in love? Indeed

Have you ever told someone you loved them in a relationship? Not when we were actually in the relationship

Did you mean it? Who knows

Did they say it back? No, she didn't want to upset her boyfriend, who was lying next to me.

Did you really love them? No, don't think so.

Who was your “first love”? Ben... the plot thickens

In fewer than 20 words, why did your last relationship end? I never called back.

Has there ever been someone you really wanted to be attracted to, but just couldn’t feel that way about them? Nope, that would be silly.

Have you ever regretted a relationship? Nope, they make things interesting.

Do you want to get married? Not in the traditional sense.

In a church? No, I'm not a hypocrite.

What’s the first thing you notice on a person? hands and wrists.

Who is the sexiest man on this planet? Brandon Lee, Elvis, Colin Firth, Joaquin Phoenix Stuart Townsend & Eddie, of course.

Who is the sexiest woman? Brody from The Distillers

Have you ever been on a formal date? Yes, when I was 13 and I'm never going to stop having the nightmares.

Is sex without love okay? Is chocolate without mayonnaise okay? Of course!

Is fisting without love okay? See above

If fisting a man ever okay? If you're not talking personally, then sure.

Pick a song to describe your relationships. 'I am a Rock' by Simon and Garfunkel

Do you like younger or older people? Older, without a doubt.

Have you ever dumped someone? Yes, it was really painful.

Been dumped? Yup, which was much less painful.

Which do you prefer? Being the dumpee, no long and boring repercussions.

Have you ever stalked someone? (Please note that when they’re attracted to you, it’s called scoping. But scoping is still stalking…) Now I come to think about it, yes, and more than one person.

Which is worse, emotionally cheating or physically cheating? Why? Cheatin' is cheatin', it's making a fool of someone who trusts you, but I suppose physically, because that's something palpable that will hurt the person when they find out.

Hold or be held? Both, at the same time.

Okay, so the sex questions start here. Virgin? No, both in terms of guys and girls.

Wish that was different? Not really.

Who instigated any physical actions in your relationship?(From holding hands to fisting) Moi, I knows what I wants and I go for it.

Is cybersex cheating? No, but it sure is boring.

Have you ever cheated or been cheated on? No, and probably.

Do you know what frottage is? Sounds unpleasant anyway.

Have you ever? Of course.

Are you kinky? One of my greatest ambitions is to be a professional dominatrix

Oh yeah? What’s the kinkiest idea you’ve ever had? It's too weird... even for you people to know.

Who was your first [fill in the blank]? I'm going to pinch Disco's: first kiss- Brad, my next door neighbour.

What’s one thing won’t you do? Anything to do with unpleasant bodily functions and products. Oh, and necrophilia.

Is there any sexual practice that should be illegal? sex with animals and children.

::Pick One::

Phone or Instant Messenger? IM, I hate phones.

Coke or Pepsi? All Hail Coca Cola, they invented Santa, ya know, and the Tooth Fairy.

Mind or body? Mind.

Cartridge games or CDs? CDs

Communism or Capitalism? communism, though I'd prefer neither

Democrat or Republican? Is there really that much of a difference nowadays?

Give or receive (sexually)? both, though not necessarily at the same time.

Sex or cuddle? Sex, not really into cuddles.

Mac or PC? PC, macs are scary

Chess or Checkers? Chess, though I'm not really any good.

Gummy worms or bears? Bears, they taste cuter.

Cursive or print? Print, so people can read my writing

English or Math? English, definitely.

Essay or multiple choice? Multiple choice, but only because I'm bored of essays.

Naked or clothed? Clothed, it's winter, after all

Jesus or the Fonz? Jesus, he would have made Happy Days a lot more interesting. And vice versa, I guess.

Actual questions:

If you had to lose one member of your family, who would you pick? My stepdad, without a doubt. I dream of having to make that choice.

What’s your opinion on religion? In concept, there are pluses, but not really something I'm concerned with.

Gay marriage? If they have to. I do object, but not in terms of our right to equality.

The Republican Party? Not the best people to market America to the rest of the world

Does pornography objectify people? Yes, but what's wrong with objectifying people?

Can a situation exist where there is no absolute truth? Yes, it's called life.

Why does Chad drink so much diet Pepsi? Because it is the elixir for immortality?

Do you know who Chad is? Something to do with Disco.

Do you know who Nelson Mandela is? Winnie's ex-husband

Is it better to be painfully remembered or forgotten? Forgotten of course.

Who would you want to die first, your soul mate, or you? Me

Do you masturbate? I pity anyone who doesn't.

What do you think about the Sims? I plan to build an altar to Will Wright and sacrifice myself.

What do you think about Hitler? A complete mystery. What the hell went on in his head?

What is the one quality we should all aspire to have? Empathy

What’s your best memory? Any one of my weekends spent at Chris's.

Does anything make you feel ten years old again? Eating lollies, playing Sonic the Hedgehog on Sega, watching Terminator.

What’s the best lie you’ve ever told? Don't lie, though life would be easier.

Are you in love right now? No.

Are the greater good and the lesser evil the same thing? Yes, they are both stupid, twee terms to justify inadequate and cruel decisions.

Are there any songs that have been covered, that shouldn’t be? Imagine by John Lennon

Do you eat sauerkraut? Nope

Do you eat pussy? Does that make me less of a vegitarian?

What do you want to be when you grow up? Funeral director/writer

Is prostitution ethical? Sure, it's also a lucrative area of the service industry.

Would you ever want to hold public office? It's one thing to wearily accept the status quo, but very different to actively maintain it. That's a no, by the way.

Would you ever want to hold Chad close? I'm guessing no, but that just assuming it's a human we're talking about.

Viva la m!les, yes or no? Beef jerky... had to say it somewhere.

Would you want to be the pope? Only if I could wear the hat

Would you want to do the pope? See above

Isn’t my dog so cute? Dogs are never cute

Shouldn’t this survey end now? I don't think we have a choice.